Thursday, May 24, 2012

Our little owl(s)

I'm already a bad Mom.  It has been a while since I have written anything - and it is mostly because I am tired, tired and sick, sick and tired.  Nothing too bad-  not throwing up all day like so many of my friends seemed to have done, but an overall feeling of ickyness that doesn't ever go away combined with an intense desire to sleep.  All Day.  Every Day.

It has been almost two weeks since we went to Shands to have our first ultrasound.  Dr. Williams barely had the thing started before he announced it was two.  Two!  Holy Crap TWO!!!! 

We all know that I have said all along I wanted two.  That it would be the ultimate BOGO (Buy one Get One) but now that it has happened all I have to say is I am scared to death.  How in the heck can I really be having two? As I walk around I am now 3.  It is scary and sometimes creepy.  That being said, again, we are so lucky.  We probably could not have afforded to do this a second time so our family can be complete.  But I am still more nervous than excited. 

Dr. Williams called our first ultrasound picture an owl.  And since I had been looking at bird and nature bedding for the room it may have sealed the deal for the nursery theme.  I think you both kinda look like an owl too.  Or batman. 

Darn picture keeps turning sideways....
Tomorrow is our next ultrasound and our last appointment in Gainesville.  I'm kinda nervous about that too.  While I am looking forward to not driving 2.5 hours every time I need to go to the doctor, I really like our doctors and nurses in Gainesville.  They have been awesome during our treatments and its going to be scary going to a doctor in Tallahassee (where we aren't known for our best medical care). 

With much love,


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

You are real...

Well you have been real from the moment you were suctioned off my ovary :-) but now there isn't any denying you.  This weekend we told a majority of the family you exist and are on your way. 

We started w/ Aunt Beffer-  took her to lunch and gave her your Gator onsie.  Then we called my Dad at work and emailed him a picture of his onsie.  Next we told my Mom when she got to Tallahassee and then my Grandparents and brothers when we got to Destin.  When we got back from Destin we called your Dad's Mom and Dad and told them too.  Only a few more relatives that will need to know before we "tell the world".

I made these onsies to give to everyone when we told them....I bet you never end up wearing a single one of them!  But it was a good way to pass an afternoon...

Now on to making the "to-do" list that must be accomplished before Thanksgiving! 

These early days...

Dear Fair Ladies-

These early days are rough.  I try not to get excited- but sometimes I can't help myself.  I'm now stalking all the pregnancy websites and forums learning all about due dates and mucus plugs (don't ask) and "early pregnancy symptoms".  Mostly its the early pregnancy symptoms that I want to read about, to compare myself too. 

According to all the apps and websites I am 4 weeks, 6 days pregnant.  Seems weird since I know that is not the case- but doctors and their desire to complicate things use different dates than I, a common sense kinda gal would. 

So, I've discovered that I am tired- ALL the time.  We leave to go to Destin tomorrow and I can not wait to just lay on the beach and be lazy. 

I don't have morning sickness, but I am nauseous.  I've discovered today that as long as I eat something every couple of hours it isn't that bad. 

My back aches.  But that is my normal state of affairs.  So not sure if that is related to this or just me not doing what I need to do. 

Still having some of those cramps- but they are not as shocking anymore.

Overall I don't feel that pregnant and that worries me.  Mostly I just wonder if I will ever feel not anxious during this. 



And we doubled!!!

Actually we more than doubled!  Yesterday we once again got up at the crack of dawn to head to Gainesville for blood work.  I admit to "peeing on the stick" the day before to make sure the positive line got darker, and it did.  So I felt pretty good going in. 

As always it was a 2.25 hour drive for a 5 minute visit followed by the drive home.  It was ok though- always nice to have some alone time with your Dad where no one or no project can interrupt us. 

On the weekends the nurse on call ALWAYS calls by 11:30 so I expected the results quick.  Needless to say that when 2 rolled around and still no call I was in a panic.  So I peed on another stick (still positive).  When Jessica finally called she had great HCG levels had more than doubled from Friday and were at 404.  Excellent numbers for only 11days post transfer. 

I find myself starting to get excited, browsing pregnancy websites, looking at maternity clothes and then I force myself to be realistic.  We are still so far out of the woods - still so many places to go wrong in the next few weeks. 

However, since we will see my entire family (with the exception of your Papa) this weekend we are preparing to tell them about you.  It is still WAY to early to do it- but since they all knew we were doing this we know they all already think we are pregnant.  I decided to make personalized onsies for each of them with iron on transfers.  We will see how it works out.  I bought the supplies today at lunch and I am going to try tonight. 

We are once again in another 2ww.  This time we are waiting for the ultra sound that will let us know that everything is right where it should be and if we have two of you!  I hope I can make it that long....



Polly want a ...

A baby?!?!?!?!  The results are in and you are officially on your way!!!!  I am so excited and terrified at the same time. 

We were waiting till 3:30 so your Dad could be with me when we got the call from Jessica.  I have to tell you I wasn't very optimistic. All day I have just felt "not pregnant" or I guess just plain normal.  As soon as I got back from Gainesville I went straight to sleep and only woke up an hour before the call. 

When Jessica called I put her on speaker so we both could hear and when she said "Congratulations! You're pregnant!!!" all I could do was cry.  And cry and cry and cry.  Even your Dad got a few tears in his eyes!!! 

We go back Sunday for our next appointment to make sure my beta is rising-  but it was 157 today and that is SUPER good.  Over 50 is positive.  So this is really positive.  This journey has been all about the numbers and since your Granny (My Mom) was born in 57 I think this is really positive! 

I am already planning in my mind- but I want to just enjoy this weekend and know that all our prayers and everyone elses prayers were answered and we are going to have a baby!!!!!

With more love than I ever imagined in my heart,

Your excited Mom

The 2WW is over...

Kinda.  I went this morning to Shands to have my blood work.  I'm going to say my first Beta test because once we get a postive we will go back Sunday to get another one done to make sure the levels are doubling.  This is me trying to be positive.

Your Dad wouldn't let me take a HPT (home pregnancy test) this am....even though I have said all along I wanted to do it this morning.  His reasoning was that there was no benefit.  If it was negative I would be a wreck on the way to the clinic.  Turns out it didn't matter.   I was a wreck on the way to the clinic anyway.  Cried the whole way there. 

When they drew my blood they told me that Dr. Williams had already called to see if we had any results.  The nurse was also surprised that I had not done an HPT yet.  She said she was impressed.   Other than the fact your Dad didn't want me too- my biggest strength in not doing it was really believing that God is teaching me to be patient.  So I am going to be patient and wait for the call this afternoon.

At 10 I know Jessica didn't have the results because she sent a very positive email about waiting to call when your Dad is home this afternoon.  He is supposed to be home at 3:30-  so I guess we will know in 4 short hours...

Until then I am going to take a nap because I woke up at 3am and never could get back to sleep. 

Looking forward to hearing of your arrival,

Your Anxious and Nervous Mom


Today I am 8 days post transfer, or 13 days past ovulation.  Tomorrow morning I go in for my beta test.  I'm nervous and scared.  I have not taken a single home pregnancy test after the one on day 4 to make sure the trigger shot was gone.  I've had every symptom in the book-  but every symptom in the book could be from PMS, from the progesterone or from pregnancy.  I'm just a little naseous, I am sensitive smells and continual slight cramping. 

Now I am in a dilema.  Your Dad can't go with me to Gainesville tomorrow for the blood work.  That in itself isn't a big deal- but chances are he won't be home till late in the afternoon and won't be here when I get the call.  So do we take an at-home test tomorrow morning so we have a good idea? Or what? 

I'll be honest.  I can't remember being this sick to my stomach about something.  I am terrified that I am not pregnant.  This time tomorrow I will know for sure if I have a chance....but today I don't and all I want to do is cry.