Thursday, April 19, 2012

My "Fair" Ladies

On April 18th we got up at 3:45am to get ready to travel to Shands for our embryo transfer.  I have to admit I was pretty excited- today was the day!!! 

The last time we talked to Jessica we had 6 strong embryos and had lost 2 of the fertilized eggs.  But that number was still really positive.  Since we were doing a day 5 transfer (many IVF transfers are done on day 3) I knew the doctors would recommend only transferring 1 embryo.  But we had decided we wanted to transfer 2 and then freeze the rest. 

We got to the hospital right on time- and my Valium had kicked in so I was feeling REALLY good.  Feeling like an old pro when Sue met us we went to the operating rooms, and were ready for the transfer before I knew it. 

The wheeled me into the operating room and your Dad was able to be with me this time.  He looked cute in his "scrubs" but would not let me take a picture.  I was still really calm and ready for the transfer.  When the embryologist came out to tell us about the embryos I was sure we were about to get good news-  but we didn't.  At least I did not take it as good.

There were only 3 embryos left.  One was not good and was not recommended for transfer at all.  The other two were Ok-  one was good enough for transfer and one was just "ok".  That was it.  My 6 strong embryos were now down to 1 and kinda 1.  Because one of them was just iffy they were Ok transferring 2.  Then I made the mistake of asking the "grade". 

The grading system they use is "good", "fair" and "poor".  The 2 viable embryos were "fair".  Really? Just fair?  I started to cry.  At that point you could tell the Dr. was annoyed with the embryologist-  she was very quick to tell us that "fair" was still really good and we still had a good chance of getting pregnant.  But your over achieving mother is not happy with fair.  So I was instantly deflated and the rest of the transfer was fairly despondent. 

The transfer was probably the easiest thing in this whole process.  It didn't hurt and took seconds, literally.  The cool part was that Sue gave us a picture of the embryos after they had been transferred into the uterus.  The big black blob is my very full bladder, underneath and to the left is a little while comet looking thing-  that's You!!  Our two embryos. 

So after the transfer I spent another 15 minutes or so dangling upside down like and after that I was good to go.   On all my fertility forums everyone talks about bed rest for days.  But all the research I have read says no need- so I decided to take a modified approach.  I took the rest of the week off and I am taking it easy.  Laying around, reading books, watching TV-  basically doing things that I will never have time to go again once we have you!  I'm also STALKING the Internet on every possible symptom- when I can take an at-home pregnancy test (even though the doctors tell you not too). 

I've been cramping all night and most of the day- but everything online says that is normal.  My ovaries are still very large and cramping is expected. 

Since our lovely embryos only graded "fair"- I have taken to calling you "my fair ladies".  I think its funny (your Dad does not because what if you are a boy?) and maybe a little bad too-  I had a calf named My Fair Lady once...she passed away- so I hope I didn't jinx us!  But then again- you were retrieved on Friday the 13th-  jinxing isn't possible. 

My Fair Ladies

Now we begin the waiting game-  since I have finally decided to share this blog with my family and friends I am not going to put the date of our pregnancy test.  Mostly because I can't stand the thought of all the calls or texts we would get on that day and how to tell them "no" if we aren't pregnant.  It isn't something I want to think about or even deal with.  But I will take my waiting as best as I know how...and try my best to be positive and know that my fair ladies are safely growing. 

With much love,


1 comment:

  1. You are being so strong and positive, I love the blog and know he/she will too! What a nice present to share with your kid(s). I love it, congratulations and I won't ask until you tell, praying for our fav fam!