I have to do what?!?!?!?

Dear Child that I do not yet know:

While many will consider this blog, that I hope you one day read, to be a very sentimental thing, I am not a mushy gushy kinda lady or writer.  Once you grow out of a teenage phase that I am already dreading, you will see I am mostly a laugh at myself, because everyone else already is kinda woman.  While I am emotional- I am not one to wax poetically.  So...here goes nothing.

On Monday, your Dad and I found out that the only way we will get to meet you is through IVF.  or Invitrofertilization.  I think I spelled that right? I'm an awful speller.  Let me tell you that as prepared as I was for the news it still has knocked me off my axis a little.  While my life, and your Dad's, has been far from perfect- let's go ahead and fess up that most everything has come fairly easy to us- with the exception of us (but that's a WHOLE nother blog and book).  So to learn that the only way we will have a child with our genetics is through a very impersonal and expensive medical procedure just hasn't set well with us.  But let me give your Dad big props....without even batting an eyelid he looked at me and Dr. Williams and said, "ok- we will do whatever we have to do".  I LOVE THAT MAN!!!! 

By the time you are old enough to read this you will know that at this point we have been married for just over a year and have been trying to have you for just as long.  All our friends and family kept saying "relax, it will happen"- but all along I just had a feeling that we might need help- not this kind of help, but some help.  So after year- and some tests off we go to Shands at the University of Florida to have Baby Spratt. 

I think its either irony or appropriate that we are going to Shands.  We met in Gainesville, first dated in Gainesville and are both UF grads... I am looking forward to the next time the alumni association calls and asks for a donation- I am going to tell them exactly where it went :-)

I have a feeling we are starting on a journey that will be less than pleasant- but for an amazing outcome and that's why I journaling it here.  I'm not ready to share my feelings with the world- but I need to share them.  I hope one day, when you are (or both of you- I'm a couponer so I am ALL for BOGO) reading this you know that even before we knew you could be that we loved you, and fought very hard to have you. 

With much love,

Mom